Congratulations on owning your new Browning Hi-Power 9mm pistol, a beautifully crafted, perfectly lethal firearm. Please read the following instructions before operating your pistol, as the firing procedure varies under different circumstances.
In a Western: Stand upright facing your opponent, arms casually dropped on the sides, with elbows slightly bent outwards. Gaze at your opponent intensely. As soon as your opponent breaks down under your gaze and attempts to draw his gun, reach for your pistol and yank it out of the dust-caked holster. Spin the pistol three times around your index finger, and fire. Your opponent will slowly collapse to the sandy ground with his gun in his hand. Blow the smoke from the barrel of your pistol, and bow to the fair lady with golden curls who has witnessed the incidence calmly on the nearby terrace. Spin the pistol three times around your index finger and in one unbroken motion thrust it back into the holster. Walk up to the lady and offer to buy her a drink.
In a Schwartzenegger movie: Grip the bad guy by his collar, cock the pistol and point it at his head. Ask who he works for and where the hostage is. Having obtained the information, say "Hasta la vista baby", release the bad guy and he will fall down to the street from the roof-top of a fifty-story building. Pocket the pistol and tidy up your suit.
In self-defense: Usually you will be panicking in face of the approaching assailant, so try best to steady your hands. Take the pistol out of your pocket, grope for the safety slide and push it downward to free the hammer. Should you drop the gun in the course of this action, pick it up and repeat. Should you complete this action before the assailant wrestles the gun away from you, point the gun at the assailant and continue pulling the trigger until the magazine is empty or the barrel is jammed, whichever comes first. Check if any of your bullets has disabled the assailant. If not, scream and run away as fast as you can.
In a paroxysm of anger: Take out the pistol, cock the hammer, and aim at your object of anger. Threaten the person and demand an apology. Your request may be denied, which will fuel your anger even more. If a rush of blood to your head impairs your judgment, that is, if you lose your head, pull the trigger. You have killed your victim. Say to yourself: the person is dead.
And repeat: the person is dead.
In a Western: Stand upright facing your opponent, arms casually dropped on the sides, with elbows slightly bent outwards. Gaze at your opponent intensely. As soon as your opponent breaks down under your gaze and attempts to draw his gun, reach for your pistol and yank it out of the dust-caked holster. Spin the pistol three times around your index finger, and fire. Your opponent will slowly collapse to the sandy ground with his gun in his hand. Blow the smoke from the barrel of your pistol, and bow to the fair lady with golden curls who has witnessed the incidence calmly on the nearby terrace. Spin the pistol three times around your index finger and in one unbroken motion thrust it back into the holster. Walk up to the lady and offer to buy her a drink.
In a Schwartzenegger movie: Grip the bad guy by his collar, cock the pistol and point it at his head. Ask who he works for and where the hostage is. Having obtained the information, say "Hasta la vista baby", release the bad guy and he will fall down to the street from the roof-top of a fifty-story building. Pocket the pistol and tidy up your suit.
In self-defense: Usually you will be panicking in face of the approaching assailant, so try best to steady your hands. Take the pistol out of your pocket, grope for the safety slide and push it downward to free the hammer. Should you drop the gun in the course of this action, pick it up and repeat. Should you complete this action before the assailant wrestles the gun away from you, point the gun at the assailant and continue pulling the trigger until the magazine is empty or the barrel is jammed, whichever comes first. Check if any of your bullets has disabled the assailant. If not, scream and run away as fast as you can.
In a paroxysm of anger: Take out the pistol, cock the hammer, and aim at your object of anger. Threaten the person and demand an apology. Your request may be denied, which will fuel your anger even more. If a rush of blood to your head impairs your judgment, that is, if you lose your head, pull the trigger. You have killed your victim. Say to yourself: the person is dead.
And repeat: the person is dead.
3 comments:
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relationship advice 101 Ways to Build Happy, Lasting Relationships.
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Start Over : When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting.
Lighten Up : Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious.
Night of Passion : Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy.
Cuddle Time : When couples first start dating, cuddling is usually a part of their everyday existence.
Make the Women Feel Good : Just like men, woman love feeling good about themselves.
Showing Love : Although hearing the words, I love you is special and important.
Realistic Expectations : No matter how wonderful and flawless your mate seems, no one is perfect.
Go on a Date : Especially for married couples, but even for some dating couples, start dating.
Control Your Anger : Every relationship has difficulties, and sometimes, there can be some intense arguments.
I Forgive You : If something has happened in your relationship causing the trust to waiver, you will have many things to work through.
Day at the Movies : Have a movie marathon some rainy or cold Saturday.
Dinner by the Fire : Order in some of your favorite food, open a bottle of fine wine, light some candles.
A Day at the Spa : Show your appreciation for the hard work that takes.
Keep in Touch : It is important that you keep in touch with each other often.
Motivate Each Other : Find a mutual incentive that will motivate both of you.
Adore your Mate : Appreciate and love them for the person they are.
Make Eye Contact : Think back to the first time you saw your now mate.
Respect Privacy : When two people come together in a relationship, each person has their own set of history.
Be Flexible : There will be times when your mate is right and times when you are right.
Encourage Friendships : Men, unlike women, have a more difficult time in developing close friendships with other men.
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hahahah, like the paroxysm of anger spiel. however never rule out the possibility that the person is NOT dead, only shot in the arm and screaming bloody murder at you.
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