I ran into this woman in the elevator in my apartment building. She looked to be in her thirties, was smartly dressed, and was checking messages on her cell phone when I stepped in. Summer was in full swing in New York, and the elevator felt like a preheating oven. The woman promptly piped up: "It's hot in here." She spoke without looking at me and in a tone of soliloquy, as if talking to a phantom in the air. But I knew better and chimed in. It turned out that we lived on the same floor. She complained how she never got to know any of her neighbors. I assured her that it was not her fault since I had just moved in and would soon move out. Just as we walked out of the elevator, she asked me:
"Where do you work?"
Never had I been asked this question by a total stranger after 30 seconds of conversation. I told her my employer and reciprocated: "How about you?"
"I am a partner in Deloitte Touche." She said.
Partner, according to my knowledge of consulting, is the second highest rank one can hold in a firm. Now I understand the true meaning of her question. In the fast-paced business world in New York, it translates into:
"Are you worthy of my company?"
"Where do you work?"
Never had I been asked this question by a total stranger after 30 seconds of conversation. I told her my employer and reciprocated: "How about you?"
"I am a partner in Deloitte Touche." She said.
Partner, according to my knowledge of consulting, is the second highest rank one can hold in a firm. Now I understand the true meaning of her question. In the fast-paced business world in New York, it translates into:
"Are you worthy of my company?"
I work at the B.K. Lounge.
ReplyDeleteThat’s my favorite line from a stand-up comedy. Of course the guy in the joke does not work at some fancy-schmancy restaurant. He’s a ‘waiter’—at Burger King.
We live in a society where strangers poke their noses into your life and friends gossip behind your back. We don’t like to tell people about our ages and salaries because these topics are the perfect leverage point for judgment. Over time, we become defensive, about ourselves.
Was that woman playing the part of judging or being judged? Possibly both. But could she being taking an active defensive approach by making the first move? Or was she just trying to make a conversation?
That may be the whole point. It is judgment day everyday. For her, for the other person in the elevator.
Welcome to the human side of the information age.